It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.
EDITOR'S NOTE - Judging by the stories in the news, I am firmly convinced we have reached the End of Days. Human beings are fucking idiots. We are doomed.
Vagina Gun Pulled After
Dispute Over Space Aliens
A domestic dispute over space aliens escalated Saturday morning when a lingerie-clad New Mexico woman allegedly pointed a silver handgun at her boyfriend, a weapon she retrieved from her vagina, where it had been placed while the accused was performing a sex act, police allege.
To make matters more strange, the arrested woman is the most recent ex-wife of Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist Cormac McCarthy, author of “The Road” and “No Country for Old Men.”
As detailed in a probable cause statement, Jennifer McCarthy, a 48-year-old artist, argued about space aliens with her 53-year-old beau, whose name was redacted from the document released by the Santa Fe County Sheriff’s Office.
When questioned by deputies, McCarthy reportedly acknowledged that she “did have a gun at the time” the couple was yelling at each other reports The Smoking Gun.McCarthy’s boyfriend told investigators that following the argument McCarthy departed her Aventura Road residence. Upon returning to the home, he told deputies, McCarthy went into her bedroom and later emerged “wearing lingerie and a silver handgun in her vagina.” She then proceeded to “have inner course with the gun,” according to the court filing.
While using the gat as a sex toy, McCarthy reportedly asked her boyfriend, “Who is crazy, you or me?” The probable cause statement, drafted by Deputy Chris Zook, does not indicate whether McCarthy’s boyfriend dared to answer that query.
After removing the gun from her vagina, McCarthy pointed it at her boyfriend’s head, investigators charge. Fearing that he could get shot, the man grabbed the weapon from McCarthy and put it in the toilet.
McCarthy’s boyfriend subsequently “took it out of the toilet and put it in the trash can outside.” Deputy Zook reported that he recovered “a silver Smith and Wesson in the outside trash can.”
Pictured in the above mug shot, McCarthy was arrested on a felony charge of aggravated assault on a household member. She was booked into the county jail, from which she was released Sunday after posting $5000 bond.
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Porta Potty Peeper Gets 3 Years
BOULDER, Colo. — A Colorado man who hid in the tank of a portable toilet at a yoga festival to spy on women has been sentenced to three years in prison and 10 years of probation.
Luke Chrisco's sentence was handed down Friday in Boulder. The 31-year-old pleaded guilty in July to attempted unlawful sexual contact and two burglary counts reports the Huffington Post.
Police arrested Chrisco in 2011 after a woman at a yoga festival in Boulder noticed something moving in the tank of the portable toilet, then saw a feces-stained man emerge and run away. Police say he also was suspected of hiding in other bathrooms around Boulder to watch women use the toilet.
KUSA-TV reports ( ) that prosecutors dropped other burglary charges and a misdemeanor count of criminal invasion as part of a plea agreement.
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Suspect caught with a LOT
of jewelry up his rectum
John Abernethy, the records officer at York County Prison in Pennsylvania, says it's common for prisoners to hide contraband in their anuses. But the case of a new detainee surprised even him.
X-rays taken after Christopher Scheller, 18, crashed a car into a tree in December revealed a cache of stolen jewelry and synthetic marijuana shoved into his rectum, police say reports the Huffington Post.
Scheller managed to stow away in his butt:
- four bracelets
- four necklaces
- 11 women's rings
- a socket for a smoking wrench
- a bag of weed
An officer approached him following the accident, according to a Southwestern Regional Police bulletin published Jan. 7.
"I've never personally heard of an inmate going to those extremes," Abernethy told The Huffington Post.
The officer at the scene, suspecting Scheller was driving drunk, followed up at the hospital. Officials there said they had spotted "an abnormality" in his body cavity.
Scheller at first was reluctant to extract the goods but later agreed, police noted. The jewelry was found to have been stolen from a home, authorities said.
The teen is behind bars and facing a slew of charges, including theft, receiving stolen property and driving under the influence.
